Gratitude.

Thank you, Robin.

Reminding us of the many ways women rock

I consider myself to have been a pretty darn good pregnant woman. I generally did all the stuff one is suppose to do and held a reputation for being good natured and easy going. This is despite spending virtually all of my second trimesters of both pregnancies in hot Central American and South American (respectively) summers with no A/C. (And for the first pregnancy, spotty running water and electricity.)

My caveat to all of that is to say that it's hard to complain about discomfort when you work in remote clinics, the kind that are miles and miles by dirt road away from advanced medical care, and see women peddling bicycles uphill, in active labor, to deliver their babies without anesthetic... it just puts it all in perspective.

And then there is my friend Robin. Robin, who is in the third trimester with her second baby and just ran a half marathon. No, scratch that, ANOTHER half marathon. Not to be confused with the triathlons she competed in during her second trimester. Oh, and did I mention that she did it in Dhaka, where it is about 345 degrees out with 170% humidity during the coolest part of the day? The Asian version of Runner's World even published an article she wrote about running in Dhaka, which features her running while 24 weeks pregnant. Go Robin!

Shoes for 'Women Fighters'

This email is from my friend Leigh Ann, who has been working for the CDC and conducting her dissertation research in Zanzibar over the last year. If you have shoes you'd like to donate, contact me (coldspaghetti (at) gmail (dot) com) and I'll pass on Leigh Ann's information.

UPDATE: If you've got any soccer cleats, these would be like solid gold. THANKS!

Greetings Friends,

In every country where I work, I pick one local cause to support. I wait for an on the ground sort of outfit that you wouldn't know about unless you were there to find me. One always does.

In Zanzibar, my cause is the women's soccer team 'Women Fighters.'
I first heard about them from one of my Researchers who is a founding member of the team. Then they were featured at the Zanzibar International Film Festival in a film called "Zanzibar Soccer Queens".

After I saw the film, I was hooked! These women are infectious with their love of the game despite the social and cultural barriers to women being athletes in even a fairly progressive Muslim context. They face all the protests and admonitions you'd expect from everyone including husbands, brothers, religious leaders, etc. And yet the Women Fighters play on.

Once I watched the film, I asked my Researcher to introduce me to the team.
I've since practiced with them which involves simultaneously embarrassing myself and laughing loudly and often. I've also helped out the team a bit by getting equipment to them. In November when my family came out, they divided up 60 pounds of gear donated from my friends at Wake Forest University and carried it out. It was like kids at Christmas to see the team open the bags of gear!

Now as I'm getting read to visit Zanzibar again, I'm writing to ask you if have any running/athletic or soccer shoes in women's sizes which you could donate. These shoes can be worn. When I've practiced with the team, they have fewer pairs of shoes than players. When a player subs-in, she switches shoes with a player who's leaving the field. Shoes are the one thing the team asked me bring when I visit them next.

If you have shoes, please get in touch with me via email or phone. I leave for Zanzibar on May 6th so I will need to collect shoes this week. I'm hoping to get a dozen or so pair of shoes. I'm traveling on my own this trip so I won't be able to share luggage weight rations with other travelers.

Asante sana~ (thanks in Swahili)
LAM

This link is to a website about the film.
Warda is one of my favorite characters from the film & on the field. This girl's got game! She shows up for practice dressed like the shot on the left. Then she strips down to shorts & a t-shirt to run around.

http://www.zanzibarsoccerqueens.com/characters.html

WARDA KHALID, 20, [Midfield] gets support from her mother who
clearly sees a connection between sports and women's development.
WARDA is determined to gain employment before getting married, as
this will prevent her future husband from oppressing her. She hopes to
gain employment through playing football and also aspires to play
abroad. "My aspiration is to become a good footballer. I would also like
to visit other countries. I don't want just to be stuck here in Maissara."

PIF

Finally, finally, finally, I am Paying It Forward. I'm embarrassed that it has taken me this long. Mostly because it shows that in all this time, I have not once been to a local arts market. My priorities are seriously screwed up.

Shokufeh paid kindness forward to me and I am passing on these 2x2 handmade tiles from Derby Pottery... magnets attached and ready to support munchkin arts. I love the colors, the weight and coolness of the tiles in my hands, and the fact that they make me want to tear into tile collage and mortar.

Keep an eye on those mailboxes... I have to convince the US Postal Service that the back of my car is an adequate drop-off point (right, Julie??) Once that is done, they'll be at your doorstep!

Another example: it remained un-opened on the kitchen table until I got home.

Someday, maybe someday soon, one of the kids is going to ask us, "what is love?" We're ready for it now.

LOVE is what arrived on our doorsteps this morning. Completely unexpectedly. Totally out of the blue. Without any hint of warning. LOVE.
That's right. Julie sent us GARRETT'S POPCORN. She loves us THAT MUCH.

We are glad to share the love with others ... you just have to get to our house soon.

(Thank you, Julie!!)

La Divina -- Channel 26

Here is the commercial airing on Channel 26 with the photography I did for our friends at La Divina... complete with pictures of the kids enjoying seriously delicious panini and gelato!

Finding Babs in the strangest places...

Today's Growabrain had a link that caught my eye. I thought, could it be THAT Lake Worth? Yup. It was. What a pleasant surprise to find that I had found one more legacy of Babs through a popular blog

Thank you, Barbara, for continuing to remind me that investing in your local community is one of the most worthwhile and lasting gifts.

Pay It Forward

A few days ago, I opened a beautiful gift -- a handmade necklace from a local artist -- wrapped up with style and packed with love from Shokufeh, who decided to pay some kindness forward after being the recipient of a gift from another blogger. It literally made my day. Looking at it reminds me of how simple it really is to bring joy to another person.

Carrying on this kindness, I'm looking for 3 bloggers who are interested in joining in on the PIF... strangers, lurkers, friends-of-friends welcome. Leave a comment or send an email and I'll figure out who and what in the next week.

Always drink shark juice with friends

Last night, we went to Jacque-Imos for dinner with friend Sheri Fink (pictured with Will at Thoth below). We've been talking about going to Jacque's for dinner since we met back in October; when Sheri (who lives in New York) was running back and forth teaching the Complex Emergencies course last fall. Now, she's running back and forth finishing up a variety of journalism projects. By lucky circumstance, she ended up in town for Mardi Gras and we managed to schedule in a dinner on the town.

While we were at the bar waiting for a table, Sheri causally mentions this story she's working on for the BBC -- on the international influences in New Orleans cuisine. This completely makes sense, since Sheri has a PhD in neuroscience, is a Medical Doctor, respected author, humanitarian, journalist, and as she clearly has way too much free time, is also a reporter for BBC's "The World" series on Public Radio International. We figure that, yes, the place qualifies and she pulls out her big official microphone. Jacque roams down to the bar, completely lit, having a great time, and starts handing out drinks from a bottle that Paul notes has come down from the top shelf. It's bright green; he tells us it's illegal in every state except Louisiana (he thinks) and fills our cups. I hear him call it "shark juice" (really, it's chartreuse) and manage to repeat the mis-heard name enough times to be recognized as one who has already felt the drink's psychotropic effects. Sheri impressively gets him talking about the French and Creole influences in his menu, which is very interesting. At one point we ask him what his favorite items are on the menu today and he tells us to stick with the alcohol, "cause the food here is terrible," before we are finally sent to our table.

The mic popped up a few more times as Sheri took some sound bites during dinner (amidst our laughter) and outside with narrative of the famous truck. She had interviews lined up with Susan Spicer today; the final report should be fun to hear. We are still giddy from the incredibly good dinner and company... and are secretly hoping that she keeps getting hired to teach down here so that we can do these things regularly!

Mardi Gras 2008: The Review, Friday Megaparade Night

Friday evening, we headed out into the fray early (or so we thought)... and were on the neutral ground by 4:45. Apparently, every person with a ladder within a 300 mile radius had been there sooner and set up their ladders supplied with taser devices to ensure on one infringe upon the PUBLIC space surrounding their ladder by several feet. Some even set up huge caution tape lines. One of the best parts about Mardi Gras is the camaraderie in the lines; folks sharing food, throws, and jokes.
Luckily, Ana spotted us crawling up and down Napoleon and we joined her and their friends, who had the good sense to bring several chairs. Ana (above) settled into our ladder seat with Will. After a few minutes, though, Will flipped out over being up in the ladder (as would be a theme for the rest of the holiday). His spirit was bolstered, however, when he discovered the delights of Doritos in a bag shared by Emmy. It was love at first sight; Will hasn't quite been the same since.

In the meantime, as dusk settled in, I went to town trying out different techniques to capture the floats as the riders took their places, prepped their throws, and night began to fall. Normally, this would be a flash situation: I increased shutter speed, increased ISO, and played around with exposure to get these shots.
In my opinion, Hermes has the most beautiful floats. The parade "starts" a few blocks from where we were, so we sat at in the staging area of the parade. It was a great place to start the night. Watching them slowly light up as the sun set was almost magical.

(Note: see the caution tape below? For some reason, this seemed endemic this Mardi Gras. What is up, people?)

Ana stayed up on high (that girl is afraid of NOTHING) and chatted to me while I snapped away.
She even offered me a few of her wake-me-up-with-a-bang! flavored Zapp's chips. That's Ana, keeping the NOLA Mardi Gras spirit alive!

Hermes was the only parade we saw. At the start of D'Etat (always one of our favorites), it became clear that Kate *had a diaper*. It could not be fixed... the girl was a mess from head to toe. Will was still being freaked out by everything (the flambeau, usually a favorite, was freaking him out, too), and it was getting colder and later. We went home. It had been a big day. It was a good idea; we were much better positioned for Saturday. (Except for Kate, who we realized was unequivocally ill.) Will and I were the only ones to attend parades on Saturday.

Tin Roof, Rusted

Not really. Just thought it summed up the weekend.

We're back. Some lessons:

-- Flying without children is a treat, no matter what happens. You can sleep, read, use the bathroom, and actually have that bag of pretzels and cranberry juice from the attendant. These are true luxuries, even when they happen in coach.
-- Shots pushed into your hand from someone who maybe a boss of your spouse is a very different type of peer pressure. Especially when you're the one in the room giving out Mardi Gras beads.
-- I have become the one who can handle cold. Paul complained of impending frostbite in the 20-degree weather on Sunday (granted, that hard wind was bitter, and I was dragging him all over monuments on exposed hillsides) while I surrendered winter gear to ease his pain. Make no mistake: the cold still hurts, but I didn't find it particularly bad -- and my ears were as exposed as Paul's and I was wearing less layers and a lighter jacket. Still, I was shocked when (I-love-hockey) Paul admitted, "there is no way we can ever move to back Michigan." Either he drank so much the night before that his thinned blood couldn't take the cold, or my cross-campus marathons over iced paths and brutal winds hardened me more than I thought. It was a surprise: as long as the sun is shining, 20 degrees and freezing winds are no huge deal to me.
-- We really do love DC. We mean that as DC, the area across the Potomac, where one is taxed without representation. There is no great desire to live there, although we admit that living in the District would not destroy us. Paul is perhaps less interested in the idea as me (and by interested, we mean "not 100% against the idea as something to do if we had to" and by had to, we mean "otherwise would suffer ignoble destruction") -- mostly this is because he is certain that the likelihood of the city being hit by a Really Big Bomb in our lifetime is at the same level of risk of New Orleans' flooding once again. We've done one of the two and would like to stay with experience.


The point of the trip was for Paul and I to attend his company's post-holiday ("no, we always planned it to be a post-holiday") party. Thank goodness for the post-holiday idea, which is a brilliant one. Bummer was that it coincided with Krewe du Vieux and blasted those plans. But it was too hard to not take the opportunity: professionally, socially, politically.

The party was at Clarendon Grill, set in a flashy area of Northern Virginia located near Metro stops and built up with all the accouterments of the urban yuppy: huge Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel, Whole Foods, Container Store, and even an Apple Store... all glowing new and shiny with 'clean lines' and 'simple design.' It's a fun area; young and hip, single and swinging. The hotel was perched on a hillside 2-blocks from Courthouse Metro and offered easy access to all the area's offerings.

The party was fun, mostly because of some really cool and interesting co-workers. The rest of the fun was due to the incredible band, Gonzo's Nose, a local cover band... a really, really, reeeally good cover band. You can't have a bad time when them on the stage, nor can you avoid the dance floor all night (although Paul gave a valiant attempt, he eventually gave in over "Jessie's Girl" and once broken in, became a permanent fixture to the pit). We brought throws in the requisite Endymion bag... beads of all types, a light-up crawfish, a few spears and tomahawks, Frisbees, some stuffed toys. Just a little NOLA spirit going out in party shwag.

2007: The Video Review

It's no great shakes (in Paul's words, "you're definitely a still photographer") but it's still a little fun. Just a collection of photos from the year. Think low tech. And enjoy.





The jury is out on whether the quality is any better, but it's also on YouTube. Music nods to Louis Armstrong (Basin Street Blues), Buckwheat Zydeco (Mardi Gras Mambo), and Preservation Hall Jazz Band (Shimmy Like My Sister Kate).

The Carnival Season is Here!

It's Mardi Gras time and we're gearing up for the biggest event of the Carnival Season!

The Annual Parade of the Krewe of Abeona!

Paul and I have been brainstorming our family's float and costumes. Will brought home a costume he'd made at school (a shiny purple cape, or as Will says it, "cafe" -- rhymes with 'safe'). He declared it a hero cape (cafe) and we went with it... coming finally to a Mardi Gras Superhero type theme with Will as Captain Mardi Gras, Kate as the faithful sidekick Lagniappe, and Paul and I as the Beignet Bunch. We were thinking of hero-type costumes (with helmets) in purple (for justice), green (for faith), and gold (for power)... or some kind of twist on that idea.

The Krewe of Abeona rolls on February 1st this year, down Oak Street and Carrollton. Today, they drew names to Crown their King and Queen, who (in the Mardi Gras tradition) lead the parade and toast the celebration. Like last year, floats, live music, costumes, and the signature throw (the Golden NuNu) will mark the celebration.

The King and Queen of this year's celebration were selected this morning. This year's King is...

(wait for it)...


WILL (!)

Wait, it gets better. This year's Queen?

ANA (Will's amor! In his words: "Mommy, I love Ana.")

Here she is, as pictured during the Po' Boy Fest:

If your heart isn't breaking just a little at the cuteness of this, it could be a sign that you are experiencing heart failure (seek medical attention, quick!) The Mothers are appropriately stressing over the costuming issue as we have only a month -- One Month! -- for this Mardi Gras season. (Honestly a month? Is that really enough time for us sinners to get it all out? For Pete's sake, shouldn't we revise the rules on these early Easter years? We have Daylight Savings to get the most daylight out of each day, so why not extended Carnival season on early Easter years to get the most out of the world's best party?)

Here are the King and Queen below, conspiring in a tea cup during Will's birthday party:

Today

I've been thinking about it all day, trying to keep busy, trying to not be so grouchy, and trying to just not think about it. Then, tonight, after putting the kids to bed and finishing some laundry, I go to the front room to continue my busy cleaning... and the TV has been left on, and is playing something silently. And I swear, out of the corner of my eye, I see Paul. Not my Paul, her Paul.

I stop, realizing what I'm seeing. It's one of Helen's movies in a documentary honoring her, recording on TiVo. I consider sitting for a moment and watching, letting it all come, all that stuff I don't want to think about. Instead, I keep moving. Picking up done, I go to the computer... there's this thing I started and want to finish. Ironically, that thing I'm wanting to finish is a movie animating still photography.

And then I read this wonderful post by Emmy. As always, Emmy finds the beauty within the worst of things. It was exactly what I needed, Emmy, thanks.

What is love at three?

How does a preschooler understand the complexities of love?

One of Will's teachers was notified during school on Monday that her husband had been killed in a car accident. Just like that. Right before the holidays. Even with the strength of youth, the support of community, and the love of many, how does one survive that kind of loss? How can this terrible thing happen to someone so good, giving, and patient? I do not understand.

Will had questions, too. Thankfully, a social worker had provided talking points for how to address our kids' questions... not that I had read it with enough detail. I had to wing it on gut and distant training, keeping my own stuff under control. He wanted to know if we could find children "to give Miss. Kynisha since hers got killed by the car." So, first we talked about people, how we are irreplaceable, nontransferable. "If I lost you, Will," I told him, "not even a hundred children could take your place." It occurred to me that maybe he was struggling with understanding relationships and maybe he had placed the event and seeing his teacher so upset within the context of a relationship he could understand: one that involves a child. I tried to address it. I explained that Kynisha's husband had died, "it would be like if Daddy died. If Daddy died, I would lose my husband."

"But Daddy is a DADDY, not a husband."

"Well, Daddy is a Daddy AND a husband. He is YOUR Daddy and MY husband."

"Just like Katey is my husband."

"Kate is your sister, Will. She is your sister."

"Kate is my sister AND my husband."

Pause. Refocus on the important parts. "Kate is very important to you. If she died, you would be really sad, right?"

Very very quietly: "Yes." Then, "Mommy? I need to be quiet now because I feel really really sad for Miss. Kynisha."

"Me too, Will, me too."

Double Shot Under the Big Top

Thanks to Emmy for the invite and to the thoughtfulness of a friend who comped us the tickets, we enjoyed Oshner's Double Shot Under the Big Top Children's Health Center fund raiser. Emmy brought Ana and I brought Will -- making it a special night out with Mommy for our big kids. We met up with other friends (Emmy's neighbor, Georgia, who is the owner of The Bead Shop, and her daughter Amaya, who is about the same age as Kate).

Ana and Will are great friends and watching them was a delight. For example, when Ana was scared to go alone down the big slide, Will climbed up and held her hand for the trip down.
Strong man and bathing beauty. This was set up over by the dunking booths, where Will was obsessed with wanting to "dunk someone." I told him that it was a real bummer we'd forgotten to bring Daddy, because he would have LOVED being dunked.
There were several jugglers and street performers. Both Will and Ana held the spinning plate.

Photography aside: I used the 24mm lens that my Mom washed (three times) in the washing machine when it returned from the Grand Canyon wrapped up in Dad's clothes. Amazingly, the lens works -- and it works well! It's a bit clunkier in auto-focus, but still faster than I would have thought. Manual works fine (with kids around, I often use auto because they move so much -- otherwise, I prefer manual). Although it seemed very sensitive to exposure and gave a lot of flare in different situations. This may also be a bit of user error because I'm experimenting more with exposure after playing around with this during sunset shots with Matt. Because I don't really have any time to set up shots in this type of setting, I didn't get any of Will with the plate properly exposed. Bummer, because one of them is really cool. But I did get some cute shots of Ana. (I pixelated this one a bit to get some more subject focus -- the result of me having trouble with auto focus.)
In addition to the inflatables and performers, there were 5 huge inflatables, a silent auction (we all put in for a variety of stuff but got outbid at the last second), jewelry making (the kids made key chains), t-shirt decorating (Will's is Very Will, in that most things are completely colored all in black), cookie decorating, and a TON of seriously great food from local restaurants. All free!

Radio Disney was there and had a dance-a-thon, hula-hoop contests, and group dancing. Ana and Will were mesmerized.
Then Ana started to pick up some of the moves.

After dancing, they decided they wanted to go back to the Big Slide (see it in the background, behind the stilt walker?) That was when Will made his move:
(He was very sweetly helping her down from the curb, as Emmy and I stood behind giggling.)

And off they go!

Life's a Beach

Tampa was planned about a month ago in a last minute sort-of way, when we discovered that we had an outstanding credit that wasn't properly applied to some of Paul's travel. We were going to loose $300 if we didn't both book and complete something travel-related by September 12th. We looked at cities that Southwest serves through direct flights and decided on Tampa (gulf coast beach). Matt and Laura were up for a couple's weekend and with Laura's skills with deals and destinations, planned the getaway.

It was the longest time I've EVER been away from the kids. I was still nursing Kate and at approximately 3 nights and 4 days (Friday morning-Monday night), it was the longest time I'd gone without nursing. Surprise: I didn't swell up to gargantuan proportions during the absence AND, Kate quickly took back to nursing without incident. So much for that as a potential weaning strategy.

The kids stayed with my parents joined by my brother and sister-in-law. This provided the 2:1 ratio (two adults for each single child) as recommended when watching our kids. As we understand it, a great time was had by all... but by Monday they (the care-givers, not the kids) were looking forward to getting us back and taking very long naps. My Dad decided that Kate was Klingon (attributed to her grunt-speak) and took it upon himself to teach Will that his parents are "old," a detail that Will lost no time in sharing with us. Repeatedly.

I am a bit embarrassed to say that while I certainly thought about the kids at every moment, I was happy to have some down time. The feeling must have been mutual, as the kids weren't particularly distressed in our absence and took our return in similar stride. (Okay, I admit it. My heart swelled like the Grinch's when we came in and they ran up to jump in our arms.)

It seems unreal that there were full days where I could sit and read pool-side, look for seashells, and leave the sliding door to the balcony open while running inside for a drink... all without worry. The company was more than we could have asked for -- we made a lot of good memories and laughed all the time. A perfect way to vacation.

Considering that Matt is a professional photographer and I am a wanna-be, it makes perfect sense that neither of us managed to get a group photo. But I did get some good tips from Matt, got to play with his impressive camera and super-wide lens, and had Paul scared stiff that I was going to want to switch to Nikon. (It's okay... I love my D400!) Artsy-fartsy playing with the camera pictures from the weekend to follow.Rose petals from a beach-side wedding ceremony.
Morning walk along the surf... with the birds.

Scruffy sea dog hanging out while his owner fishes in the Pass.
I am a bit embarrassed to admit that I seem to be obsessed with shelling. Me and all the Florida retirees, stooped over at the foamy edge. Next I'll be wearing black calf-height socks with my sandals and shorts. New obsession: making jewelry with found objects.
Showy gulls.
Matt and Paul (below) in the few moments we had almost sailing. The outboard motor died before we were out of the Bay (it had an existing problem with water in the engine that hadn't been worked out yet) -- leaving us in the middle of the channel in a dead calm. We had to be towed back to shore. Good thing it happened before we were really far out, otherwise, those jokes we were making about Gillian's Island could have come back to haunt us. And that would have sucked since I completely forgot my MaryAnn outfit.

This is as far out as we got. Notice the sea wall? We didn't have a lot of time to drift before needing a tow.
This is where we were trying to go. Next time we'll make it!
Sunsets were gorgeous.


Beautiful beautiful sky, beach and sea!

Labor Day on the National Mall

Friends Randy and Katherine spent Labor Day with us -- fun lunch at Rivera's (Peruvian) and an afternoon on the National Mall taking in some of the big sites at the Smithsonian museums. It was a gorgeous day -- absolutely perfect -- and we were so thankful to have such great company!Will LOVED the Air and Space Museum -- which I understand is the most visited museum in the world! He was especially taken by the space exploration exhibits, the lunar capsules, and related planetary models. Kate was similarly engaged. She fell in love with Randy and demanded that he carry her everywhere, pointing eagerly in the direction she wished him to take her. She liked the planetary exhibits as well. Any round object that was red she called "apple" and any round object that was not red was "ball." Randy went from picture to picture asking her "what's that?" and found her to be quite reliable in her answers.
Some artifacts from National Archives were being displayed at Air and Space while Archives is under renovation. (Isn't it always under renovation?) This was an added bonus and allowed us to see Lincoln's Top Hat, Louis Armstrong's cornet, costumes from The Wizard of Oz, the original C3-PO and R2-D2, and Jim Henson's Kermit, among other things.
Above is a sample of the original penicillin mold. Way cool.

The bracelet was worn by Alice Paul. The charms are each of the 13 states that ratified the ERA in 1972. Click on the picture to read the text, if you can.
Katherine shows Kate the original Teddy Bear.
Above are Archie Bunker's Chair, Carrie Bradshaw's Computer, the "Puffy" shirt from Seinfield, and Mr. Rodger's red sweater. (Couldn't help but think "one of these things is not like the other.")
Will in front of the Capital. And this time, he's AWAKE!
Such a pretty day -- and I loved the big red tour bus driving across.
Randy with Kate.
Will explains to Randy the finer points of walking. Or something. Randy must have been exhausted by the end of the day.
This time, Will was much more enthusiastic about the dinosaur bones. But he still liked the aquatic creatures much, much more than the land-dwellers.
See Randy and Kate walking toward the castle?
Pictures of the four of us in front of the Capital.

Great day, great friends, great visit!